While I hold you as you go to sleep I feel as if I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Most people never find the person they’re meant to be with and I’m thankful to have met mine. You’re my world. And losing you would feel as if I was loosing myself. Most of the time when I’m lucky enough to have you fall asleep with me I stay awake. I lay there and feel your body occasionally twitch and then you’ll nuzzle in closer to me. You’re the reason I get up in the morning. You’re the reason I can say that i have found the person I will spend the rest of my life with. kristenlynn110
A list of things laced with you
1. my record player: Every time I look at it I see you sitting on my bedroom floor smiling while the tips of your fingers lick the edges of my records. My Bright Eyes album is still pressed against the needle where you left it. I know it was your favorite. I haven’t touched it since you left.
2. The sweatshirt you left at my house: It was a little too big and you used to pull the sleeves over your hands when you were nervous. I still wear it when I miss you. I’ve slept in it every night this week.
3. coffee: you kissed me, tongue dripping in black coffee. You always had a cup or three in the morning. It left you shaky. It left me in love. The smell makes me dizzy. I’m sorry I called you last night
4. The tattered old blanket I’ve had since I was little: you used to wrap us both in it when I was sad. It’s stained with tears and the feeling of your arms around me. It feels like the way you used to kiss my forehead. I’d rather fall asleep freezing than touch it. I wish I could still touch you.
5. My camera: It’s still filled with pictures of you. I’ve missed out on so many sunsets because if I turn on my camera I’ll see you and I think if I see you I’ll die.
6. My voicemail: you left me a message 4 months ago telling me you missed me. i can hardly remember what your voice sounds like but it plays in my head all the time. My voicemail is full. My mother can’t get ahold of me but if I go through my messages I’ll listen to yours and it’ll hurt worse than anything. You still hurt worse than anything.
7. The plant in the corner of my kitchen: I could never remember to water it so you always did it for me but you haven’t been around. It’s dying. Maybe I am too.
8. The fucking stars: You used to make wishes on stars. I feel like throwing up every time I look at the sky but I can’t stop wishing for you.
9. your notebook: you left it on my desk. You used to write when you couldn’t sleep. Most of your poems were about me. I wonder if you write about her now. Sometimes I can taste my heart breaking.
YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.
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